I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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