You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
