It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
