we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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