Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
