I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
