Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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