yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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