Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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