I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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