So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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