Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Still dying that you shit outside
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
