why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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