If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
