we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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