Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
