I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize