I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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