Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
