I'm lost and stupid without you.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
