ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
