You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
