Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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