I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
