when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
