I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
