no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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