woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
