think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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