I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
