so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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