We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
