dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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