well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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