I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
