apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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