his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
