My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
