There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
