Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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