nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize