It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
