i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
