I must be too annoying 4 u.
one might say we're banned from that church
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
