super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
