he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize