Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
