What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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