And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
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