I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
