I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
