Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
