i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
