You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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