In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
