You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
