My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
