Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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