Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
