I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
