I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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